Chapter 8.2
“And what about school? Ye Jinâs in his senior year.”
“Since itâs already September, the best option is for him to attend morning classes until the college entrance exam, then train in the afternoons. But if he prefers, he can take the exam first and start training afterward. Since he has no prior experience, building the basics is crucial. The ideal option is attending morning classes and coming to the practice room after.”
“âŠAnd youâwhy are you suddenly doing this? Itâs not something weird, is it? Youâre not getting tricked into something like your mother, are you?”
My grandmotherâs hardened expression made a wave of emotions rush over me. Looking back, she had never truly trusted me. She had always thought I was making the same mistake as my mother, getting deceived into walking the wrong path.
Back then, when she brought up Mom in front of strangers, I had been embarrassed and furious. I had yelled at her on the spot, completely disregarding the fact that I was in front of company executives.
Safe to say, I wrecked my first impression with the director right then and there.
“If you fail at this circus act, itâs going to cost a fortune. What are you going to do then?”
Even hearing that again made me cringe from the embarrassment.
Calling it a circus act in front of agency staff? Even considering my grandmother was from an older generation, that was hard to ignore.
“Donât worry about the money, maâam. The company considers trainee expenses an investment on our part. We donât charge anything post-debut eitherâonly if a trainee transfers to another agency before debuting.”
The director, who had been silent the entire time, finally spoke. He explained that trainees were provided with dorms, even if they were shared rooms, and that meals were covered by the company cafeteria in the basement.
Since my grandmother didnât fully understand the concept of idols, Min Ji An jumped in to explain further. This time, I didnât get angry or embarrassed. I just sat there quietly.
Living through the same past a second time made me see things differently. It wasnât her curved back, her tightly pressed lips, or even her gray-white hair that stood out to me most. It was her expression.
“Do you really think you can do this?”
Beneath the doubt and unease was something unexpectedâgenuine concern. Much to my surprise, my grandmother was worried about me.
One of the skills I had sharpened during my years in Reverb was reading peopleâunderstanding what they were thinking, the emotions they were holding back.
It had taken me until my thirties to properly use this skill. But now that I had gone back in time, my nineteen-year-old self was starting to see what he had missed the first time.
“You wonât quit halfway through? This is something kids start from an early age.”
“I can do it.”
“âŠYouâre not just saying that?”
“No.”
In my past life, I had misunderstood this concern. I had fought with her right here in this meeting room. She had ultimately reluctantly agreed, snapping, âDo whatever you want!ââbut only because she was too exhausted to argue anymore.
“Fine. I donât have much faith in this, but⊠if the kid wants to do it, what can I do?”
But this time, because I didnât snap back, she agreed much more easily. Though, of course, she followed up with a warningâthat if it cost too much money, sheâd force me to quit.
“Alright, then. Now that we have the guardianâs consent, weâll proceed with the trainee registration. Ye Jin, follow our staff for your level test.”
“Yes.”
âYe Jin.â
As I got up to leave for the level test, my grandmother suddenly grabbed my hand.
“If youâre doing this, do it well.”
“âŠâŠ.”
“I donât know what an idol is, or whatever⊠but you want this, right? Then do it right. Work hard.”
For some reason, it hit differently. It wasnât like she had said anything sad, but I suddenly felt like I was about to cry. I barely managed to choke out an âokayâ before rushing out of the room.
I had always thought my grandmother didnât like me⊠But the genuine warmth in her voice when she told me to do well completely threw me off.
It lingered in my head for a long time after.
