Chapter 31.1

– Alien Shop? What a unique name with a sense of style! Is it an online store, too?

Ah, I’d summoned Braun as well.

He was thrilled that I’d drawn the curtains in the middle of the day for him and couldn’t get over how I’d sold the mascot snack.

‘This friend of mine sure has a low threshold for being touched…’

To be fair, the mascot had given me two packs, and I’d saved one, just in case.

Anyway, to answer his question…

“Yep, it’s online. You browse products on a page that looks like a flyer.”

– Aha! Is that so?

Braun’s cheerful voice echoed.

– I’m intrigued to see the shop that my friend frequents so often…

<Space Shopping Mall>

※Amazing items from outer space※~!!

>>I’ll take a look at the items

– ……

– ……?!

– What is this? This is just a hideous flyer, completely devoid of any aesthetic appeal!

Hmm…

“Isn’t usefulness more important than appearances?”

– My word! Mr. Roe Deer, appearances are just as important as the contents! Visual appeal is the first thing that draws in an audience!

– How could anyone be attracted to such an uninspiring and plain, not to mention ugly, flyer?

Sure, sure.

With Braun’s commentary in the background, I clicked into the site.

…Alright, Mr. Roe Deer, I still have faith in you. Since you said it’s worthwhile, I’m sure there’s more to see behind the flyer…

Items

Bloodbathtub – ₩29,999,999

Mysterious Candle Kit – ₩19,999,999

Snow White’s Apple – ₩11,999,999

We Can Help! – ₩66,666,666

※Sale!※ Bloodsucking Cutlery – ₩7,999,999
₩14,999,999

– ……

“Braun?”

No response. I think he fainted. Looks like my ‘Good Friend’ here really understands the plight of designers… or, well, monsters who feel that plight.

“You okay?”

– I… need to rest.

Be my guest.

I turned my attention back to the items.

Some listings immediately stood out as unchanged. The ‘We Can Help!’ item was still unavailable, and the Bloodsucking Cutlery were now marked as a discounted item…

‘Still here, huh.’

※Sale!※ Bloodsucking Cutlery – ₩7,999,999
₩14,999,999

I thought someone would’ve bought it by now, or that the algorithm would’ve removed it from my recommendations, but here it was again.

‘Do they think I’ll buy it?’

It felt a bit weird. But anyway, moving on.

The most expensive item I could actually purchase was…

Bloodbathtub – ₩29,999,999

‘I saw someone looking for one of these on the Salmon Market earlier.’

It was quite a well-known item—I remembered the description.

Dark Exploration Records / Delusion Home Shopping
/ Items

Bloodbathtub

Today, we present an extraordinary product! The amazing elixir of youth from our home shopping channel!

Presenting… the tub of youth…

– July 7, 20XX, item description from ‘Delusion Home Shopping’

When filled with someone else’s blood, this tub transforms the blood into a fragrant bath mix that heals wounds, relieves fatigue, treats arthritis, and enhances skin.

‘Basically, a modern spin on the vampire legend, in item form.’

The price actually seemed surprisingly reasonable, considering the item’s reputation.

Still, the idea of bathing in a tub filled with someone else’s blood—even if it becomes a ‘fragrant bath mix’—is enough to make my head spin…

‘Let’s check the next one.’

Mysterious Candle Kit – ₩19,999,999

This one was unfamiliar to me. But a candle tends to evoke the idea of light, and light is often a symbol of comfort and protection in creepypastas.

‘Still, I’ll need to consider carefully before spending 20 million won on it.’

And lastly…

Snow White’s Apple – ₩11,999,999

Wow. Even if it’s useless, maybe I could turn around and sell it for 40 million won and make a huge profit?

‘I mean, who knows if it’ll count as food from paranormal phenomena, but it’s worth a shot.’

The post seeking ‘food from paranormal phenomena’ was still up, and the buyer was looking for research purposes, so they’d likely keep buying.

Given all this, my choice was clear…

“These ones, for sure.”

Mysterious Candle Kit – ₩19,999,999

Snow White’s Apple – ₩11,999,999

※Sale!※ Bloodsucking Cutlery – ₩7,999,999

= ₩39,999,997

As I mentioned, light is the antithesis to a creepypasta. And an item that produces candles?

I had a feeling that candles from this kit might be related to defense or protection.

‘It’s a worthwhile investment, even if it’s expensive.’

Snow White’s Apple, too, was appealing for similar reasons.

‘If it’s called “Snow White’s Apple,” it probably has something to do with sleep.’

I really need some quality sleep these days. If that apple can actually help me sleep deeply, it would be perfect for me. My efficiency would skyrocket, and my survival rate would soar…

‘Please, just let it work!’

I hit the purchase button, desperately hopeful.

‘And if it doesn’t work, I can always sell it.’

A fallback plan is in place, just in case.

Now, for the last item—Bloodsucking Cutlery.

‘With such a big discount, isn’t it polite to buy it?’

The last discounted item I bought, the ‘Silver Serpent’, turned out to be quite useful, from custom gear to summoning Braun.

For reference, if you press the plush keychain’s belly, you can feel the round metal shape of the ‘Silver Serpent’ inside.

I’m not sure how useful the Bloodsucking Cutlery will be, but they might come in handy for trade or for selling to other employees.

And now I have a cover story if anyone asks where I got it—I can just say I found it on the Salmon Market.

So, these are my three chosen items.

“Alright.”

They fit perfectly within my budget. Time to finalize the purchase…

– Mr. Roe Deer.

Hm?

Out of nowhere, Braun called out to me.

– About that ‘Bloodbathtub’.

What about it?

– I would like to have it.

“……?!”

W-What?

– Friend, would you consider giving a gift to this Braun here?

• Author
• Recent Posts

Salt Goblin

Latest posts by Salt Goblin (see all)